Unless you’re a parent, it’s hard to appreciate the hassle of transporting an infant.

If you want to understand, try this experiment: go bowling. Then take the bowling ball with you. Everywhere.

Home. Shopping. The bathroom.

Hauling a twelve-pound bowling ball around will give the childless some idea of a parent’s chronic arm fatigue, back pain, and aching feet.

But the physical strain is the easy part.

The bowling ball doesn’t need to be fed.

It doesn’t get bored.

And it certainly doesn’t produce excretions.

Frequent excretions.

Excretions that sometimes require a hazmat suit and a shop vac.

The reality is that when you leave the house with an infant, you’re not just transporting a baby. You’re hauling a kitchen, bathroom, changing room, and play area.

Parents of infants are basically mini-U-Hauls.

Infant transportation also turns parents into obsessive weight watchers. Not of their own waistlines, but of the cargo.

Like airlines, there are penalties for excess baggage.

Too much stuff means higher costs—in time, money, and emotional energy.

New parents slowly realize their transportation strategy is completely wrong.

Usually this revelation occurs around the baby’s three-month doctor visit.

The beloved, high-tech infant carrier gets abandoned.

The deluxe, Wi-Fi-ready diaper bag disappears.

Suddenly the baby is riding in a lightweight metal stroller, and the supplies are stuffed into a plastic shopping bag.

And that’s parenting an infant in a nutshell.

You begin with grand, beautifully organized plans.

And eventually end up carrying everything in a used Target bag.